Why Marriage Can Be Challenging for Women Today and Why Some Married Women Are Unhappy

 Marriage has historically been celebrated as a source of partnership, security, and family. However, the realities of marriage today present unique challenges, especially for women, who often bear the weight of expectations, societal pressures, and sometimes unbalanced roles. Despite whether a marriage is built on love or arranged by families, many women find themselves struggling to adapt to the demands of married life. This blog explores why marriage has become increasingly difficult for women and why some married women might not be as happy as expected.

1. The Burden of Societal Expectations

Society often imposes significant expectations on married women that can make the experience challenging, sometimes even overwhelming. Women are still widely expected to manage most household duties, take primary responsibility for child-rearing, and often sacrifice their own dreams for the sake of the family. This can lead to feelings of being trapped or undervalued, especially if the woman has career ambitions or personal goals that are sidelined after marriage. In both love and arranged marriages, society’s expectations can restrict a woman’s freedom and hinder her happiness.

2. Balancing Career and Home Life

Today, many women enter marriage with established careers, aspirations, and professional ambitions. Balancing career growth with domestic responsibilities is a juggling act that, unfortunately, is not always equally distributed. Women are still often expected to do a “second shift” at home, handling the majority of household and childcare duties after working a full day. In love marriages, women may expect greater partnership and equity, but societal norms can still interfere, while in arranged marriages, this expectation of balance might not even be discussed beforehand.

3. Mental Load and Emotional Labor

The “mental load” refers to the cognitive and emotional responsibilities of running a household, such as remembering to pay bills, scheduling appointments, and ensuring the family’s needs are met. This invisible labor often falls on women, leaving them mentally exhausted. Emotional labor — the work of managing relationships, mediating family conflicts, and attending to the emotional needs of loved ones — also disproportionately affects women. Over time, this mental and emotional load can erode a woman’s happiness and well-being, leading to burnout and resentment.

4. Loss of Personal Identity

Marriage, especially in traditional settings, can overshadow a woman’s personal identity. The expectation to adopt her husband’s family as her primary identity, sometimes even changing her name, can make women feel as if they’re losing a part of themselves. In arranged marriages, the challenge of adjusting to an entirely new family and lifestyle can feel like a strain on one’s individuality. Even in love marriages, women often feel the pressure to align with their partner’s lifestyle, which can result in a loss of personal identity and interests.

5. Unequal Partnership and Lack of Support

The ideal of marriage as an equal partnership can be difficult to achieve in practice. Many women enter marriage expecting their partner to share responsibilities equally, but find themselves taking on a larger share of the domestic and emotional work. This can breed frustration and dissatisfaction, especially if their spouse doesn’t provide the support they expected. The lack of genuine partnership and support can lead to unhappiness, regardless of whether the marriage was based on love or arranged.

6. Pressures of Parenthood

Parenthood is a profound, life-altering experience that can add joy but also tremendous pressure to a marriage. Women are often expected to prioritize child-rearing above everything else, which can result in a feeling of isolation or loss of autonomy. While fathers are increasingly taking on active roles, societal expectations still lean heavily on mothers. This pressure, combined with the physical and emotional demands of parenting, can cause women to feel overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

7. Social Media and the “Perfect Marriage” Illusion

Social media has amplified expectations around relationships, often creating an illusion of the “perfect marriage.” Many women feel pressured to showcase a happy, idealized relationship that may not reflect their real experiences. This disparity between online portrayals and actual experiences can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and dissatisfaction. Constantly comparing oneself to others can amplify feelings of unhappiness and loneliness in marriage.

8. In-law Dynamics and Cultural Expectations

Especially in arranged marriages, adjusting to in-laws and meeting their expectations can become a significant source of stress. Many women feel that they must constantly prove themselves to gain acceptance and approval from their in-laws, even when it compromises their comfort or personal choices. Love marriages are not immune to this; even when a couple is deeply connected, cultural expectations can strain the marriage if family dynamics become challenging.

9. Pressure to Prioritize Marriage Above Personal Fulfillment

Society often encourages women to prioritize their marriage above their own fulfillment. This can create a feeling of suppression, where women feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs, hobbies, and ambitions. Over time, this pressure can breed resentment and a sense of unfulfillment, making it difficult for women to find true happiness within marriage.

10. Unmet Expectations in Love and Arranged Marriages

Both love and arranged marriages come with their own sets of expectations. In love marriages, women may have high expectations for emotional intimacy, equality, and mutual support. If these expectations are not met, disappointment can lead to frustration. On the other hand, in arranged marriages, adjusting to a new partner without a prior emotional connection can be difficult. The pressure to make the marriage work, combined with the time it takes to truly understand each other, can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Finding Happiness and Balance

Marriage is inherently complex, but open communication, mutual respect, and realistic expectations can make a significant difference. Many women find happiness by setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and fostering open dialogue with their partners about responsibilities and emotional needs. Supporting married women’s happiness requires a cultural shift toward equitable partnerships and a more compassionate understanding of the mental, emotional, and physical challenges they face in modern marriage.